Juice In ‘Da (Court) House.

By Sonny Palermo

Ode to oj's squeeze, christine prody; excerpt from the Stones:

"Honey, Honey, call me on the telephone,

 know you're movin' out to Hollywood,

With your can of tasty foam

Yeah! You're a star f*cker, star f*cker, star f*cker, star f*cker, star"

For some reason, friends back East have been calling to ask, but no, I have not been attending the oj trial. From what I understand, the courthouse is a madhouse, traffic is backed up for blocks, and the only thing I hate more than getting stuck in traffic is getting stuck near oj. True story:

One day, my friend Albert invites me to his Mansion Suite at the MGM. While waiting for him to meet me in the VIP lounge, oj walks in with a couple of bimbo's and a buddy or two.  I commented, loudly, to the host, ‘If Mr. Theil calls for me, tell him I am waiting for him by the elevators; suddenly, it stinks in here."

One of his buddies started at me, but didn't say a word, while simpson heard me but ignored me. When they didn't make a move I assumed they thought I was a kid looking to provoke them for financial gain via a lawsuit.

Actually, I was a kid hoping oj would come at me so I could bust his nose.

So, oj's in town again this week, and the scales of justice have a chance to swing back the other way - the right way. And as I watch his ‘girlfriend' christine prody sitting in court, I can almost hear her thinking: "Hmmmm, if he goes to jail I get to keep the house in Florida AND my head."

oj. blake. spector - I hope the aliens aren't watching California, it's times like this that make me embarrassed to be a human being . . .

I sent in the ‘prody' line to Dennis Miller. Maybe he'll use it as a caption on his new show while showing a picture of prody sitting in the courtroom. It's not that I'd like him to use something I wrote as much as I'd like her to see it . . .

Selection/Review - Split last time in as the dog barked with Troy but the Under in our other pick missed as Ohio State sailed over the total. 7-5 in this space now.

This week, I'm going to college - not for an education, but for some $$$.

I have had some success working with an NCAA profile that ranks plays in six different categories. It is rare that a team hits all six, but of the four games that have, three of them have won easily. This week I have a near miss, as USC hits on almost all parameters but one - SOS (strength of schedule.) Cal's SOS is rated much higher, but in recent weeks I have been trying to rank the six various factors, to see which ones to weigh more heavily in future handicapping. And it appears that SOS is the least important. It can be decisive or deceptive - decisive, if a team plays all patsies and then gets crushed by a top ranked team, but deceptive if a team beat all ‘lowly" teams for the lone reason that up to now that is all they have had scheduled.

So, what's the case going to be this week with USC, is SOS going to prove decisive or deceptive?  We'll know for sure by Saturday night, but my notes show a BIG edge for the Trojans in the factor I rank as most meaningful.

USC opened at -3 but that was soon gone. I bought the hook off of a 3' but that's gone now too. So, we'll use 4 as the spread here, and to show my faith in the play I'll go back and buy it again for -4. Cal has been exposed over the past few weeks, and though USC is not the same undefeatable team they have been in the past, they are still much the better team in this one, hit 5 of the six categories I use, and are laying a small number.

Take the Trojans, and as always, hope there is no hole (in their Defense.)